what was meant for evil, God uses for good.

I've been thinking a lot about a certain sentence from the Bible. I haven't read the Bible in quite some time I must admit, but there is one scripture that keeps replaying over and over and over in my head. It's Genesis 50:20.

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good..."


It hits me. 
It hits me like a ton of bricks and I am wrecked and I am humbled. 


We all carry grief, dear friends. Brokenness, hate, resentment, anger, fury, spite, whatever it may be... We are human and we have a great capacity to hurt. And even though our pain can seem overwhelming, unfair and even cruel at times, our capacity to love is far greater than that.

I read this scripture of Joseph's story and I feel whole and I feel honest.

And it's hard as hell to get here....to where Joseph was. Humbled and subservient to the Lord. But I can tell you one thing, he didn't get here because he tried hard enough or cared enough about it. He got here because of who God is in Him. He got here because he sat in the presence of the Lord and he gave up. He saw His heart. He felt His heart, and despite all of Joseph's anger, righteous anger at that, he wept (Gen. 50:17).
He forgave.... and he loved.


May we all seek to be humbled and feel God's love like Joseph. May we seek to touch the Lord's glorious redeeming robe.

"I could hear my heart beating, 

I could hear everyone's heart.

I could hear the human noise we sat there making,

not one of us moping, not even when the room went dark."

                                                                   

                                                                            - Raymond Carver, 1938-1988

God and Gays.

okay. i have been patient. i have waited a very, ...very long time. perhaps i've waited because i've been afraid of backlash, or judgement (ironic), or malintent by others. who knows. but i need to address something. and i need to speak boldly about it.

i want to address the controversial and intense subject of God and homosexuality. this post is not about promoting one personal stance over another. it's about something that i feel is more important.



i've read the Bible. i've studied the Bible. i've studied books about the Bible. it has been a personal interest of mine to learn from its wisdom and write it on the tablet of my heart. so...what i could do... is sit here and quote the scriptures about homosexuality in the Bible til the cows come home. or i could quote other scriptures that are, to be blunt, more important and primary in the Bible (beat me down as you may oh conservative sheltered Christians).
but i won't, because to be honest, i don't care. this long awaited post is not about bible legalism... this says that, and that says this.

it's about Love. and it's about knowing Jesus Christ.


"Love your neighbor as yourself and love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your mind and all of your soul." (Luke 10:27). that's primary to Jesus, and it is primary to me. it is the most precious and powerful wisdom He gratefully left us. and that's what we're supposed to live out. it is highly layered and no one will ever be able to master it. it is a brilliant law.

SO...let's say you're one of the boatloads of gay friends of mine and you're asking me the question i've been asked by almost every single one of them:
"So Liz..you're a Christian, right? OK, soo..you think i'm going to Hell then... that i'm living in sin..." (and here's where my gay friend usually laughs and smiles with a wink to show me he/she is just kidding, oblivious to the fact that i notice that ever so fleeting moment of seriousness in his/her eyes. the moment where i feel that giant unGodly chasm that absolutely breaks my heart).

well dear and beloved friend, let me answer this question for you. 

first off, to give you an almost caddy and short answer, i have no idea why you're asking me this question. i am not God. so this question has nothing to do with me. or perhaps you're asking me for either of two reasons: 1) you truly do wonder about some things in your life and don't know what you want to grab hold of, or 2) you're just trying to catch me in a corner and beat me down like all the other Christians in your life who have wrongfully treated you like a leprous piece of shit. 

secondly, my entire existence in this world is to Love you and to Love you unconditionally. unconditionally means no strings attached, tenacious and consistent as hell, and full of unmerited grace.... the same love that i expect from you.

thirdly, we have the subject of judgment. as i said before, i know the scriptures. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." - Matt. 7:1 or the often-quoted Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."  and on and on and on and on... but even more considerable than this beautiful council is the way in which Jesus lived his life. He broke bread with whomever. He dressed in rags and lived impoverished even though He was a King. He was a complete radical in how He had no observance of much of any of the governing laws or officials who cared more about legalism than they did about good moral standing. He would sit down with you on the dirt floor, probably stewing in your own shit and wrap his arms around you not because He didn't care, but because He DID. 

THIS is Christianity. to be a "Christian" means to be one who "follows Christ". it brings such desperate sorrow and illness to my heart to see people who call themselves "followers of Christ" go round ignorantly and abusively making ANYONE, no matter if you're Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Jew, of a different Christian denomination, or don't follow the "Don't cuss, drink, smoke or chew, and don't date girls that do" mentality, feel like they aren't fully and without hesitation LOVED COMPLETELY. 

so this is my apology...one of my apologies and many more to come, for all the mess. for all the ignorance. for all the dark days when you have felt ostracized because of misplaced passions. because of missing the mark.

know you are loved. you are cherished. and you are living a bigger story.