struggles.

i had a friend over the other night for beer and chitchat. the topic of struggles came up and it was nice to talk about. he had been going through quite a bit recently; moved to a new city, had finally gotten a job he wasn't sure he liked, was still trying to fit in and find a community, and it hadn't been nor become easy. it wasn't joyous. and he vented that he was having trouble reconciling the narrow path (matt. 7:13). he didn't want to struggle as much as he was. he wanted to be happy and to feel joyous everyday. he was confused as to why God would bring us down such roads. roads that seem never to end and are narrow. or even more specifically, he was questioning why God would have us go through things for such extended lengths of time. he was tired.

and i believe some of his answer is found in one of Oswald Chambers works called The Love of God.

"The disciples would have gone to any length to prove their devotion to Jesus. It was true devotion, but it wilted because it was based on an entire ignorance of themselves. In the end they "all forsook Him and fled," not because they wanted to, but because they did not know how to go on. Jesus put the disciples through crises to reveal them to themselves and bring them to the place of receiving the Holy Spirit. They could not see their need to receive the Holy Spirit until they found out that they were spiritual paupers. Jesus allowed Peter to go over a moral precipice and deny that he ever knew Him before Peter realized what it was that kept him from being a disciple. It is not necessary for everyone to go the way of Peter's sifting, but the sifting must come in some form or other. The preaching of the gospel of temperament will not do for the making of disciples; nor will Jesus shield us in the slightest degree from any of the requirements of discipleship."

i'm thankful that God sifts. that he cares enough about us to separate out as much of the bullshit in us as we'll let him. and i'm thankful we struggle. i'm thankful we question and have doubts. i'm thankful we care enough to talk about such problems. and i'm thankful i have friends who are honest and want to fight.